this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. i am watching dr. phil and there is a mother of a (adopted) child and she is talking about strangers' comments. it really hits home.
i do have/have had people make comments about it all of my life: do you think your parents treat you differently because your sibs are adopted? do you think that's because they aren't your real siblings? does your brother/sister wonder about his/her mom or dad? yeah, but they aren't your REAL siblings....
it's just so rude and coldhearted. my mother may not have given BIRTH to my sister or brother, but they are still my siblings. i don't look at it any other way. none of us do. we are so much alike it's uncanny.
it's almost like i would like to respond by saying "do you feel that way/is that because your sister is so much better looking/more successful than you/is smarter than you?" but i don't - because it's inappropriate and just one of those things you dont say.
in the words of dr. phil...don't assume adoption is a second choice. for some, it's a first choice.
there is more to being a parent or a family than blood relation. and those comments and inuendos really hurt the loved ones of an adopted child.