Tuesday, January 26, 2010

{getting} ready

we are trying to get ready for baby 2.0's arrival. we have lots leftover from jack...but some things that we need to replace. this time around, the finanaces are different, so we are trying to spend less :) we have to buy:

play mat (have one from a fellow nestie that is on hold for us! score!)
light-up thingy for her crib (i always call it an aquarium for lack of a better term...)
i really want a snap-and-go for her stroller, her stroller is trashed (we will see if i get vetoed)
finish decorating her room (it's a nightmare!)
hang her new door to her room
paint her trim
window treatments. ughhhh (however we located some white ones from PBK from jacks first room that we thought were lost. score!)
a nursing cover (or 3) - will make
bibs - make

is that it? goodness!

Friday, January 22, 2010


well, it's no secret that our niece is sick. it's no secret that we live in a culture in which others think they are entitled to, and should, give their opinions on such things...all.the.time.

i am tired of people telling me not to feel guilty about this baby. i am tired of people saying "oh, the family will see it as a new beginning" or "you shouldn't let the tragedy get in the way of your happiness." you know what? we don't feel that way. and it's okay.

of COURSE we are overjoyed with our healthy baby girl. we are FOREVER grateful for our healthy boy. but we have a huge feeling of guilt and sadness...and i think we are entitled to that. once you become a parent, and see the world-changing way a baby makes you the view life, you put yourself in every parent's shoes when tragedy strikes. people make a face and shake their heads and always say "i couldn't even imagine." well, some people HAVE to imagine...because it's their reality. it's going to be ours....theirs...the family's.

we don't ever want to cause more pain to them then they have already gone through. it's M's sister's only child...she is not going to have any more. and to those thinking "oh she will have more"....you're wrong. she won't. so stop saying it. it hurts. we fear that seeing our kids, or any kids, will hurt them. we fear that the extended family will continue to push us away more than before. because it will hurt them too much to love our kids. i am not saying that from a selfish standpoint, but from a standpoint of fear for the family's feelings of pain and for our kids for not getting that love.

we don't want them to hurt any more. we don't want mattie to have cancer. we don't want to keep explaining our feelings. we don't expect anyone to understand, because we hardly do ourselves. our feelings are valid, they are true, and to tell us how we should be viewing it/dealing with it/processing it is just plain ignorant. because if you have NOT been in our shoes, then you have absolutely no right to offer advice. advice is given from someone who has experienced it. many have exprienced death with a an elder, a distant relative....but a CHILD is a whole different ballgame. there is no explaining it away..."oh they lived a good life" or "she was old." no. not the same at all.

we are simply angry.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

almost passed out!

our neighbor came over with her itty bitty new baby. marc and i discussed that in no way was our baby EVER that small (even though little james was 8 oz bigger than our jack) and today i came accross these pictures (plus MANY MANY MORE) and i almost died right here on my floor.
how quickly we forget. how desperately we try to remember....

Monday, January 18, 2010

please keep me accountable

and by having a baby girl....do NOT let me put those bands with bows/flowers/large obnoxiousness on her head. they are just silly.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


so...i have majorly been slacking. MAJOR. but it's okay, lots to touch base on.

we are proud to announce we are expecting a baby GIRL in May. she will arrive via c-section, which i am NOT pleased about, but it will be okay.

i was told shortly before christmas that the store in which i have been employed for almost 2 years will be closing. at this time, i am being told that i am being transferred to the other store in columbus, but we will see...

that being said, baby 2.0's room is going to be freaking adorable. a generous discount, combined with a store closing discount = good deals for the A family. she DOES have a name, which we changed in the past few days, but we are not telling. stay tuned!!!

we are preparing to say goodbye to our little niece. we are not sure when, but we know it will be sooner rather than later. we are not sure how we will handle this, but we will get through it. it's like a heavy rain cloud that is looming on the horizon. it clouds our joy, regardless of whether we should let it or not, of our upcoming arrival. because we know that the 2 things will be very close in timing and we are just unsure of how to deal with that. i have a few things to say about the comments we receive, and the advice, but that's a post for another day...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. i am watching dr. phil and there is a mother of a (adopted) child and she is talking about strangers' comments. it really hits home.

i do have/have had people make comments about it all of my life: do you think your parents treat you differently because your sibs are adopted? do you think that's because they aren't your real siblings? does your brother/sister wonder about his/her mom or dad? yeah, but they aren't your REAL siblings....

it's just so rude and coldhearted. my mother may not have given BIRTH to my sister or brother, but they are still my siblings. i don't look at it any other way. none of us do. we are so much alike it's uncanny.

it's almost like i would like to respond by saying "do you feel that way/is that because your sister is so much better looking/more successful than you/is smarter than you?" but i don't - because it's inappropriate and just one of those things you dont say.

in the words of dr. phil...don't assume adoption is a second choice. for some, it's a first choice.

there is more to being a parent or a family than blood relation. and those comments and inuendos really hurt the loved ones of an adopted child.

quote of the day!

Character is what you are...reputation is what you try to make other people think you are.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

kingdom of bounce

we went.

we saw.

we conquered.

we are SO going back!

a good quote

i love quotes. i think it re-affirms what you are thinking, and it's refreshing to hear your thoughts echoed in the words of someone else.

one that echoes in my ears lately is "when someone shows you who they are the first time...believe them." my own personal spin? especially if it's that person's spouse! ha!

Friday, January 1, 2010

onto 2010

it's january 1! happy birthday, my dear marc!

2009 was a good year, in the importance of all things.

marc, jack, and i were all healthy, and remain healthy. i got pregnant, and we are expecting our baby girl in may 2010. we shall call her aubry 2.0. my brother was married adn we had safe travels to NH. my parents visited and they are in good health. my sister and her kids are in good health, as are her in-laws. my bff nea came for a visit and although i only got to see her for a few hours out of the week she was here, it was wonderful.

on the not-so-great-side, we learned that our precious niece has terminal cancer. she is beginning to struggle on a daily basis and all we can hope is that she makes it to her 5th birthday in april. i was laid off a few weeks ago but was lucky enough to be relocated to a new location. sadly, not all my friends made the cut.

we have worked hard this year to stay out of major debt, and we were successful. we have a tiny bit left, which is highly annoying, but it will be paid off in a few weeks.

i have some resolutions and goals for the upcoming year but will blog about them later...one is to update my blog mroe often! lol.

have a happy and healthy new year.