Friday, January 30, 2009

tears

i have been blessed with the best baby. he was so easy as an infant, never giving me one ounce of trouble. ever. never had nursing issues, sleep issues, or any issues. easy peasy.

but today......oh, today. today i have cried, rolled my eyes, stared down a leper, and yelled. i have screamed. i have gently slapped. i have swatted. i have begged, pleaded, bribed.

my child has pushed me to the point of wanting to run down the street, flailing my arms and screaming "where is my baby? someone has stolen my child!" because the spawn that is upstairs, in this house, is not my son.

i know he is 2. i know they are difficult at this age, but he is just not himself. he has been crying, whining, and tantruming. he has refused to eat, and dumped every beverage i have given him onto the floor, and shouted "NO" as loudly as he could.

i administered the tylenol today, as if it was medication time at "celebrity rehab" and rubbed down his swollen gums with oragel, which caused him to cry so hard he shook. which made me cry so hard that i shook, too.

i rocked him and patted his back and whispered "it's okay, buddy" and he patted my back too. i layed him in his bed after he looked at me straight in my eyes and ever-so-carefully told me, around his beloved binky, "bed momma."

i turned on his music and covered him with his quilt, and he told me "byebye momma...nigh nigh" and i realized that while it has been hard for me today, it's been even harder for him.

today has been rough. really, really, rough.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009

dammit

i was reading the ever-hilarious julie (http://www.47andstartingover.blogspot.com/) and she had a post that if you read it, you were tagged.

















exciting stuff. 5th picture in your 5th folder. it's an unedited pic of a kangaroo at the columbus zoo. i bet you have a million of these, too.

if you read this, do the same. (if you haven't fallen asleep by now)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

today is the day.

today is the day that so many have dreamed of. that so many have hoped for, and prayed for. today is the day that is making history. today is the day that will inspire our youth, will give hope to the hopeless, will give chances to many.

today is the day that our ancestors worked for. the day that they hoped would come. the day that many gave thier lives for. the day that they earned.

my grandmother would love to be here, watching this happen. she was a woman before her time...she went to college, as did her mother. she was a tough cookie, and passionate. she refused to allow my mother to play with the children of people who were in favor of segregation. she told my mother "you will get in that pool" when the other mother were pulling thier daughters out, because a black child was swimming there, too. every summer they adopted a "fresh air child" - which was an "inner city" child of color. they made the best of those summers, and tried to give those kids every opportunity they could....because my grandma thought the rest of the world wouldn't.

and she was right, in those times....those kids wouldn't have. those kids probably thought they would never, ever, get to the place where obama is today.

but we are there. we are THERE. it's not only about color....it's about hope. hope that we can turn our country around. we can hope. after all...if you don't have hope, then what do you have?

so to those who said it couldn't be done, shouldn't be done, would never be done...i extend my middle finger to you and say "yes we can!" because, we did. it.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

welcome

to my new blog. it's going to be different. it's going to be better.

it's going to be great.