tears

i have been blessed with the best baby. he was so easy as an infant, never giving me one ounce of trouble. ever. never had nursing issues, sleep issues, or any issues. easy peasy.

but today......oh, today. today i have cried, rolled my eyes, stared down a leper, and yelled. i have screamed. i have gently slapped. i have swatted. i have begged, pleaded, bribed.

my child has pushed me to the point of wanting to run down the street, flailing my arms and screaming "where is my baby? someone has stolen my child!" because the spawn that is upstairs, in this house, is not my son.

i know he is 2. i know they are difficult at this age, but he is just not himself. he has been crying, whining, and tantruming. he has refused to eat, and dumped every beverage i have given him onto the floor, and shouted "NO" as loudly as he could.

i administered the tylenol today, as if it was medication time at "celebrity rehab" and rubbed down his swollen gums with oragel, which caused him to cry so hard he shook. which made me cry so hard that i shook, too.

i rocked him and patted his back and whispered "it's okay, buddy" and he patted my back too. i layed him in his bed after he looked at me straight in my eyes and ever-so-carefully told me, around his beloved binky, "bed momma."

i turned on his music and covered him with his quilt, and he told me "byebye momma...nigh nigh" and i realized that while it has been hard for me today, it's been even harder for him.

today has been rough. really, really, rough.